Staring Menace

People stare at me too much, not to speak of the villagers. I don’t know the reason. When I walk through the lanes in my village, some people would stand aside and stare at me till I reach out of their sight. They behave as if I am an alien. I often think whether there is any peculiarity for staring. There is nothing abnormal in my dressing up. I don’t use cosmetics, even talcum powder. Some women I meet there have nothing to talk just sit back and stare at me. They don’t think I have emotions of a human being. Some women would check me by every pore on my body as if I am a show-piece and say, I am weak there is little blood in my body. Doctors also say I am anemic even if I have 100% haemoglobin. They think I am on a fast forever. I might be born underweight. I am fed up of all these interpretations on my body and complexion. My complexion is like that, “tere angon pe champa ka rang chada,” at least a poet was there to understand. OK, I am thin and I don’t look healthy. Then why these stares, stares at me? I don’t understand. Is it because of my clear fair skin or is it envy or hatred? These questions remain unanswered. When I observe other good-looking women I understand not all are a target of staring.

I stand in front of the dressing table, which has a wall mounting mirror, and ask, “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, am I the fairest of them all?” Mirror says, “No, there are several who are fairest; you are only a fraction of them.” I ask again, “Then why do they stare at me?” Mirror says, “I don’t know, ask them.” I feel like asking them. If I ask it will go against manners. Starers don’t have to keep any manners. How long can I go with my ‘grin and bear it’ nature? Curiosity doesn’t kill the cat. Their curiosity does kill me. I can’t stand staring. I feel uncomfortable. I twist like a worm that got hurt, in front of these starers. Even animals feel uncomfortable with constant gaze. If you stare at a dog or a cat constantly it will close and open its eyes every now and again. The irony is that the very starers can’t stand staring of others. Constant gaze is a real menace, if it is with envy or hatred it is worse.

Eyes are meant to see the light of this universe and needed to live on this earth. Eyes are related to the element, fire. So some people use them as agnibaann to burn others. If only they used their eyes to observe and understand things properly! A few are gifted with a third eye. Imagine the plight of a blind person. Eyes show your emotions. You cannot hide it.